It's not that I keep hanging on...I'm never letting go.

All I want...
To be five again and free.
To dance and play in the rain
without worries of getting sick.
To not be sick.
Not my body.
Not my mind.
To tell the Patron Saint of Lost Causes,
"Jude, I want myself back please."
I would listen if I were him.
My friends...they're time.
Just back to them, please.
The time I've taken and
the happiness I've stolen.
All given back to them.
Dismantle and then repair me.
I want to be helped and saved
and stop.
I want to stop.
I want to look
and listen
and hear
and feel
anything but where
and what
and who
I am now
and
this is.