Episodic Lament

I sound like I did then.
Crunching of footsteps on broken glass
without hearing the tears.
Who asked for me?
Cause I didn't know.
If they led me I followed
like a sheep into slaughter.
I ought to go back and sleep.
I haven't slept in days
and I'm wasting away in hunger.
Thunder was my friend
and the rain made me smile.
It still does right?
And so do you.
I was wrong to say
I was done. This was over.
I was wrong to feel
like it all was no good
and
I know that I love you.
My light. My light garden.
Beautiful and silent
just like the sounds
of my tears.

Muse and Magic

Muse and Magic
created the world.
Imagined the eyes of a little girl
Showered the world
in color and light.
Oh what a silence
Oh, what a sight.
Muse was a wonder
at sewing the Earth.
Gave the flowers their color
and the oceans their worth.
And when it was all over
he stood back and sighed.
How could you look around you
and not feel alive?
Magic gave feeling
and feeling gave love.
And the world was wonderful
ground and above.
He smiled so brightly
with sparkles in his eyes.
How could you look aroud you
and not feel alive?
So we were born into wonder,
all the children of hope.
With the tools of the trade
and the courage to cope.
They left and looked onward
to the world within.
But we built and we broke down.
We scarred and caved in.
We can't see the origins
or the wonder intended.
So they frown and they worry,
both hurt and offended.
We don't see all the beauty
we just focus in strife.
How do we look alll around us
and not
feel alive?

These Things Take Time

Who knows which way I'm going anymore? I'm old and grown and I've changed and molded and loved and lived.
I still am...but I'm just getting by sometimes too. I still wonder "what if" like I did when I was five. But this time I'm finding answers.
Sometimes I wish I could keep just asking "what if?". But I can't. I have to keep walking forward, not in circles.
I've found out that all I've guess and known is true and false at the same time. And that I don't have enough words or time to justify
everything that truly matters. I'm going to have to pick and choose. And sometimes my heart will hurt and I'll need to be picked back up.
I won't ever understand everything but I can understand a lot now that people go through. Maybe that was the point of all of it. I can use
each and every experience to relate and to help and save someone else. And if so then I'm glad. I don't care if it hurt if it'll help me help you eventually.
Maybe you don't know, and you probably don't, but I look up to you. Somewhat at least. And I care about you more than even I knew I did. I just want
to somehow find a way to make you believe that each breath you take is important. Like the world isn't gonna hurt quite as bad as you think it does.
And just because it has hurt doesn't mean it always will. I've learned that and I want to help you see the world the way it reaches my eyes. I know I'm young
but I've lived. I have hurt and lied and bled and loved and cried and laughed just like you have. But I can't help you yet. Not until you really trust me.
I've never had a hard time trusting. I trust too easy and quickly and I know sometimes that's a bad thing. And it doesn't help me understand your view.
But you can trust me. Because I see you in full and I want you to see yourself the way the world does. You are strong and beautiful and smart
and awesome. Nothing changes overnight, but if you give me a chance you'll see I can shake up the world you know. Good change is a good thing
and I met you for a reason. I have a habit of being abrupt. Of walking into peoples lives and shaking them up. Only thing is you shook mine up first. Right
when I was about to fall off the edge you turned the world and I fell back on. Someday I'll find a way to repay you for that. I know you don't really know what you did
but maybe one day I'll be able to explain. The truth isn't easy to find or talk about, but by uncovering them we find the scars we buried and heal them.
Will you let me walk with you? Because each step is one more moment you can touch the world, and you already have. Will you let me help you see? Because
you are worth it. And I want you to know that.

All Inside and Around

I am one in a string of ideas.
The lightbulb above my head flashes
in a precarious, broken way.
But I never give up...
Because giving up is for quitters.
And I'm too strong for that...
...I think.
What happened to all that I had?
It's like I was a soldier who
lost everything only to come back to
everything he had,
and realize its nothing.
Feelings sometimes feel deeper
than the oceans.
At least deeper than they should.
Of course I talk to myself.
It's my only way of staying sane
to tell myself, "Kid it'll be okay."
Who else says so anyways?
I know I'm chasing dreams but
I don't chase the impossible.
Never and can't dont ring bells
in this head of mine...
...Except sometimes. Like on
those long sleepless nights.
I've become sick and tired like
a starving insomniac.
Pacing back and forth inside the
lattitudes and longitudes
of a very solitary mind
that sees over and through
everything.
But I'm lost and waiting
to be lost and found.
Everything has a purpose just like
the night comes and goes.
I know mine but I don't know
if you know yours.
I can't save the world. Just
one person at a time.
And I'm trying so hard.
But steel walls are hard
to move and
I'm not a supehero.

The Toymakers Closet

I'm not sure what I did
but it got me where I am.
All the world upon my shoulders.
All the horror in my hand.
Given up into the midnight
Swallowed whole by sparrow songs.
I wish into the hollow black.
I try to sing along.
I'm stumbling bright
but staying quiet
Breathless in the times.
All the while
hiding silent in the
daylight of my rhymes.
Where we go from here and now
is not up to
ourselves.
We just have
to wait awhile.
Old toys on
dusty shelves.

You Can Count On It

I'm spinning out in circles.
I'm chasing after dreams.
And I see right inside you...but
can you see in me?
You've lived more than I have
and I so wish I knew.
I so wish I could tell you
everything you need to hear.
You're a book and I'm a puzzle
but the worlds okay.
Despite what you say youre worth
moments and minutes.
There are miles and miles
laid just for your feet.
You'll touch lives, friend I promise.
Everyone that you meet.
Just hang in there, hold tight
cause no one said that its easy.
It wasn't easy before
and it still may not be.
But you've got friends and shoulders
to get you through the dark.
I'll watch where youre walking
to keep you from the fall
as long as you keep walking,
courageous and tall.
Each breath is a promise
that you'll live for your dreams.
For the reason you were put here
and for a love bigger than
anyone knows.
You're so much stronger
than you have ever known
and so much more worth it
than you've ever seen.
I'll still tell you every day.
Count on me.

We're Going In Circles

We weren't born as rebels
throwing motions and pebbles
at all that we hate.
But it's getting to late
to see where the suns gone.
I've been running to long.
And I'm rhyming to much.
I've lost my way and your touch.
And it's harder each day
to just find my own way.
God only knows that I try
but I'm just getting by.
I want to live past that line
and see what I can find.
Maybe my hearts been wrong
and this isn't my song.
I don't want think
this was all for nothing
but maybe we're just growing old.
Forget all we've been told
and just listen to your heart.
Together or apart?
I hate all the questions I ask
about ditching the past.
And I hate me for thinking
that I was made for sinking.
But I'm dreaming of better
with every word and letter.
Life takes moments and minutes.
We can go or stay in it.
It's your choice and its mine
but I still need some time.

These Things

With all the success it sorta
feels like a failure.
I keep wondering blind
with the wind in my eyes.
And I'm torn up and dry
but the rain keeps pouring.
Help me take back my heart.
Help me hold it too tight.
You're the one that I've loved
but I can't see your light.
I'm gonna walk like a madman
straight on into this world.
One more dance
One more moment
for one beautiful girl.
Shouting doesn't get heard
so I'll scream every word
and write it right here.
I'm standing and screaming
and living and dreaming
and wandering and wondering.
Lost and searching
for a soul and home.
Living and learning
and looking
for home.