okay.

There's one for the books that I read

every now and then.

I am alone.

Albeit, only sometimes.

I've got friends here and there.

The shadows are everywhere in between.

The cave swallows it all into darkness.

And its cold.

The ellusive nature of it all

keeps me prisoner to everything

I've come to hate.

Tell me to go ahead with breathing.

This place is a suffocating anomaly.

I give up fighting it.

Don't let it take me.

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Warnings

You've never seen a kid fall like that.

I am so afraid when you do, you'll leave.

Or worse...I'll hear the words I've heard all along.

"I don't know how to help you."

No one can.

So they don't.

The world comes and goes

and so do my colors.

Everything is turning dark again.

I'm fighting so hard to push it back.

I didn't want to tell you.

I'm afraid you'll leave.

Im afraid you won't be able to handle it.

I'm afraid you'll be too lost to hold onto me.

I am just so afraid.

This happens often enough

and when it does...

Will you help me find a way out?

Because my world gets so much darker than you know.

And cold.

It snows...just ask her.

She's seen my face go blank

as I leave this world for a while.

Don't let me.

Please...don't let me.

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Recited Deception

It's really not all okay.

I can feel the closet monsters creeping up on me again.

There soul shivering whispers in my ears.

I never want to listen.

They never go away.

And for all my life I've pretended

that I'm the wolf.

I'm the sheep.

The teeth are baring down on me.

It's too dark to run.

And too late.

They know where I've been.

They know where I'm going.

Misfortune follows me around with a knife.

Sometimes I'm so ellusive

even Houdini couldn't find me

in my words.

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Give Me Shelter

My heart is as worn as the soles of my shoes.

How long will I pay for my debts?

The air is thinner it seems

than it used to be.

Nowadays I have trouble staying awake.

Not out of boredom.

Im just too tired.

My heart is run down.

My head is worn out.

I am bent in more directions

than I knew existed.

I will always be sick.

But I will not die of my own design.

Just you wait though.

I will not let them take me either.

I am still strong enough to stand.

I can fight.

I am here.

Are you listening?

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Medisin by The Classic Crime

"I am like a machine. All that I really need is medicine and then I'll fall fast asleep. In my dream-like state I'll pretend I'm unscathed, but when I wake up my resilience fades. When I wake up, my resilience fades. How long? I know there's more to life than slavery. I'm tired of dying. I know there's more to life than drinking the soul sick medicine. Oh, no. No, I'll never listen to what I'm told. At 24 you'd think I'd hold my speech. Instead I'll mix it with cocktail, some truth, and some slander. I never practice what I preach."

The Classic Crime

Medisin

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We Know...

We are who we are.

The world cannot define even our loudest sides.

Because only we know

what our truths our.

We are all multi-faceted.

Thats what makes life colorful.

I refuse to be made into

anything less.

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Suddeness

You hold a world of wonders in your palm.
Your armor is coming off now.
But I never had any.
Instead I was stuck, scarred and bleeding.
But now that you're free...
Can you stitch me up
and make me better?
I'm healing already.
You should know
nobody else has ever been able to do that.
Nobody.
I used to stay up at night wondering
who would save me if I was the one saving them?
Nobody.
I used to think I'd be alone and lost and searching forever
for a heart to love and a hand to hold.
But I'm not.
I found you.
You walked in so abruptly that
my head couldn't adjust that fast.
And so it freaked out.
But just for a moment.
And in that moment I realized
that all the world I thought was broken to pieces
was falling back together in a million shades of light.
I am very much alive and
very much in love,
and I don't really hate myself.
I only hated what I had become.
Cold, lifeless, and without feeling.
But you're letting me feel again.
You're doing what no one else could.
You're letting me live.
I am so very alive.

Tell Me, Please.

You've never done a thing wrong.
My footsteps were used to running.
I'm staying put now
for you.
There didn't used to be enough words
for feelings
and so they didn't exist.
You let me feel again.
You let me cry again.
And now I can live.
But I don't want to live without you.
Not ever.
I used to wake up to the dark every day
and wonder where I was going.
Not anymore.
No...you are like a light.
And even though I've always seemed strong
you know that deep inside
there's a girl who's scared of everything.
But I'm not scared of this.
I love you.
I love you more than words can even say.
But I'll let them try to speak to you anyhow.
Just let me know that I didn't mess up so bad
that I'll lose you.
Let me know you still love me
and that we're going to be okay.
Because I'm scared again.
I'm scared of being alone in the dark
and I don't want to cry tonight.
I made this weight that's sitting on my chest.
Forgive it so I can breathe again.
Please...just let me know
that you'll be there to hold me
for a long, long time.

Some Kind of Wonderful

In all honesty, it's hard to find words to write.
There is so much to feel.
My heads trying to wrap around the world
in a million splendid colors.
My heart is singing.
After all these years, when I thought it was dead,
you made it sing.
Thank you.
I lived in a cold world.
I lived with fear.
I walked with him.
But you chased him away.
Can I walk with you forever?
Because now that I've seen
what the world looks like
full of color and love,
I cannot go back.
And I won't.
If I have your heart
you have mine twice over.
Just let me know you'll keep me
and I'm yours as long as you'd like.