Looking Back Now....I Sometimes Wish Things

I am going to be completely honest.
I look back on that Tuesday.
It was September and I
was young.
Swept away by the tides of life.
I had thought there was only
one way out of this.
Thought things would never be different.
But I didn't think
about the reprocussions.
About the other people.
The one moment I took in my life
to think about myself
to be selfish
I spent dying.
And if I could take it back
of course, I gladly would.
But I have learned.
I've learned to love even
the smallest of things.
But I still read back
to that Tuesday in September
and wonder what it would be like
if all these words hereafter
had never existed.
I'm glad they do.

Fatal Flaws

I have a fatal flaw inside
despite how hard in life I've tried.
You see, this world can get confusing
and I try to paint it up
with the colors I'm using.
I try to grab every hand
that I see falling down.
I try to help the world up
when I'm still on the ground.
But even when I make them smile.
Even when they say my times worth while
I still feel as though its not enough.
I know I'm just a little rough
on judging all the things I've done.
But I haven't done much.
I am just one.
I'm just one girl trying to save the world.
I've saved lives, but I'm still a little girl.
I keep giving and giving
but sometimes I fall back.
And in just those small moments
I can view all I lack.
It makes me wonder and question
the reason I'm existing.
Am I really still helping?
Or am I just stuck here wishing.
I have wondered forever
If I've really done my best.
But I'm flawed nearly fatal.
My hearts too big for my chest.

Hopefully...

Sometimes
I think
I feel.
And other times
I listlessly drift away
into a dreamlike state.
We are wonderously being
human and inhumane
and sometimes subtly
trying to love.
But where are we going?
In this world of wonders
we create so much lightning.
We cause so much thunder.
Monsters
Destroyers
Lovers...
People...
We only do what we can do.
And while some try and others don't
we are all equally at fault
for the things we have done.
But we are all loving
something
or someone
somewhere.
And that keeps that little fire
in the corner, burning
like a kindle of hope
in the nighttime.

Reconciling With Myself

Each day we're learning who we are.
We grabbing stars
even if they burn us.
And while the world may not know
who we are or where
we're going
that's alright.
They may never know
what we're not showing.
But we let those we love see our hearts.
And I'm starting
to think
that its okay to
love and be loved.
To dream and to wish
and to hope
and to live
just how I want to.
And to stand
for what
I am.