Lost

Somethings tugging inside again.
It's a hurricane that started slowly.
Destruction. That's all.
You might miss it if you didn't know.
The darting of the eyes,
wide and unblinking.
The pacing and stumbling.
The murmurs and utterances
that mean nothing more than
the mouth they came from.
NO. Stop it...stop subjecting yourself
to such pity, such...
I don't know.
It's an outrage what I've done here.
Lost, clouded, wondering,
I can't even find myself
let alone my words.

What are you doing?

It hit the extreme
and I never meant it.
I need leading by hand
like I'm five again,
five and twenty;
Something I never will wish
ever again.
My white, snowy wonderland
is splattered in red,
and I thought nobody would notice.
They did.
I brought the hurricanes in,
and I'm sorry if you drowned.
Never meant to hurt a single soul.
Never meant to divide mine.
And now, now I have love.
I have requited love
and redeeming love.
C'mon kid. Push your chin up.
When will you see
that you have more than enough?