Distortion

I had to write this. I had to because I know its something that's been at the back of many women's minds as well as my own since we were little girls. We don't think we're beautiful. And for many of us, we never have quite seen it. The world defines beauty in such a manipulative way, causing us to think that we don't fit the bill of what a perfect woman should look like. We're too big, our teeth aren't straight, our skin and hair aren't right, our legs aren't long enough; they make us think we have to look like distorted images of models. They spoon feed us this lie that that is what we should look like, and we all eat it up. Men and women, we all eat up that image of the supposedly perfect female body, and it becomes what we think is real.
When I was really little, I thought I was pretty. People would tell me I was pretty and cute and I would smile back at them with my huge dimples. I was pretty. I still am. But as I grew up, the world became harsher about looks, just like it does for every woman. I felt like I wasn't as pretty as my friends. Their hair was straight and they were skinny and their teeth weren't crooked. They had cute clothes and cute smiles and people thought so too. I didn't have any idea they probably thought the same thing about themselves as I thought about myself. I just assumed I was less beautiful, and I let myself believe it.
For the longest time that was the way it was. I was too short and too fat. My hair was too different and thick and not straight. My shoulders were too big and my skin wasn't clear enough. My teeth weren't white enough and my nose was too big. I didn't think I was beautiful. I shyed away from anything that might make me stand out. I thought that I needed to be skinnier for boys to like me.
I was wrong.
That entire time I spent trying to hide, I was actually just hiding my beauty. And while I'm still self-concious, and it will take a while to make that go away, I'm learning to realize how beautiful I really am. I have great curves. I have a wonderful smile, and when I'm truly smiling my eyes light up so beautifully. My hair is an amazing color that people try to get their whole lives, and its gorgeous. I am beautiful, and I am learning to see that.