Box like houses, institutions, rooms and floors and doors and halls
but no windows.
And I'd like to think that I grew up just enough okay to maybe just get by
but I look around this city and my head's asking me why.
Why would I choose just to stay here when I could choose to fly?
When I was little I know I had far more dreams.
I would dream of things bigger than my life had ever seen.
Well, I know now those things probably cant ever be.
But I do know I could try harder to see more than I see.
There's a fight deep inside, a fire taking over my mind.
I want to run forever as far as I can just to see what I'll find.
The world's gone to testing every word inside my head.
Showing me love and hate and mercy, grace and life and hurt and death.
Sometimes I'd rather take a drink than face the place where I reside.
No one notices it, so know one asks all that I hear inside.
For the longest time it seemed that everything would just collapse.
That I was too weak to move on, so I waited to relapse.
I thought, fuck it, its just too hard. The world won't give a damn
if I fall away from all I've known. They don't know where I am.
But I was too afraid of even that. So I tucked it all away.
Tried to forget everything they'd done to me and all the words they'd say
But I didn't work, did it.
There still somewhere deep in my head.
I know each single breathe between each violent word they ever said.
And they echo here.
For some reason I thought no one could ever save me.
So I tried and tried to save myself from everything they gave me.
I was wrong.
I know it now.
And I just want to leave.
I'm still learning to wake up and realize that I own the world in mind.
Maybe I was just too scared of letting it out. Afraid of what I'd find.
But I'm begging now.
I'm reaching for a life beyond where any of this started.
Shit, I'm trying to get by so hard. But I'm begging for catharsis.
There's a world larger than what I knew and you showed me how it could be.
And for a moment it changed everything I thought and I could finally see
beyond this place.
I love that face
that lights up with the night.
Sometimes I think if you just held me for hours than everything would be alright.
I know that's not true. But I feel safe, in the city and in your hands.
And while I know it probably won't always be so, I'll lean against you whenever I can.
I feel foolish. It's silly.
I'm just an average little girl
that's never done much to set my place, indifferent to the world.
Why would you want to stand by me? Hold me? Show me what you see?
I don't really deserve what you have to give, or anything you could give me.
But you do.
And I love it.
I love each word that comes from your mouth.
I spend hours each night thinking about them and trying to figure you out.
There was a time last night when the world was spinning and I could hardly walk
but it was beautiful. And I honestly meant every word I said when we talked.
Every time you say a single thing I just want to look you in the eye
and tell you how beautifully complex the thoughts are in your mind.
It was so beautiful.
The world was spinning. The lights and streets and time moved slow.
It can't happen as often as I'd like. Yeah I know.
But it can still happen.
I knew what you wanted to say from the moment we met the very first day.
I just wanted you to be the first one to say.
I appreciated that you did. And I'm gonna keep our yesterday
like a movie in my head. Nah, it'll never leave my view.
Please just keep holding on to me,
you're amazing.
And I'll keep holding onto you.
This world gets tough and I know we've both seen it from inside our heads to outside on the streets.
But it's not something too tough that we can't get through together. There's not a thing that we can't beat.
And I know now that this world is bigger than these walls that have kept me here.
I know now that my words can come out through my voice. They don't have to be held back in fear.
One day, you know, I'll get away. And maybe it might be with you.
But even if it's not, I know that's okay. Because right now we're together, getting through
this mess of a life that they've built for us now. And I think we're doing okay.
So hold my hand, I'll grip yours back so tight
and we'll dive head on into another day.
When I was little I know I had far more dreams.
I would dream of things bigger than my life had ever seen.
Well, I know now those things probably cant ever be.
But I do know I could try harder to see more than I see.
There's a fight deep inside, a fire taking over my mind.
I want to run forever as far as I can just to see what I'll find.
The world's gone to testing every word inside my head.
Showing me love and hate and mercy, grace and life and hurt and death.
Sometimes I'd rather take a drink than face the place where I reside.
No one notices it, so know one asks all that I hear inside.
For the longest time it seemed that everything would just collapse.
That I was too weak to move on, so I waited to relapse.
I thought, fuck it, its just too hard. The world won't give a damn
if I fall away from all I've known. They don't know where I am.
But I was too afraid of even that. So I tucked it all away.
Tried to forget everything they'd done to me and all the words they'd say
But I didn't work, did it.
There still somewhere deep in my head.
I know each single breathe between each violent word they ever said.
And they echo here.
For some reason I thought no one could ever save me.
So I tried and tried to save myself from everything they gave me.
I was wrong.
I know it now.
And I just want to leave.
I'm still learning to wake up and realize that I own the world in mind.
Maybe I was just too scared of letting it out. Afraid of what I'd find.
But I'm begging now.
I'm reaching for a life beyond where any of this started.
Shit, I'm trying to get by so hard. But I'm begging for catharsis.
There's a world larger than what I knew and you showed me how it could be.
And for a moment it changed everything I thought and I could finally see
beyond this place.
I love that face
that lights up with the night.
Sometimes I think if you just held me for hours than everything would be alright.
I know that's not true. But I feel safe, in the city and in your hands.
And while I know it probably won't always be so, I'll lean against you whenever I can.
I feel foolish. It's silly.
I'm just an average little girl
that's never done much to set my place, indifferent to the world.
Why would you want to stand by me? Hold me? Show me what you see?
I don't really deserve what you have to give, or anything you could give me.
But you do.
And I love it.
I love each word that comes from your mouth.
I spend hours each night thinking about them and trying to figure you out.
There was a time last night when the world was spinning and I could hardly walk
but it was beautiful. And I honestly meant every word I said when we talked.
Every time you say a single thing I just want to look you in the eye
and tell you how beautifully complex the thoughts are in your mind.
It was so beautiful.
The world was spinning. The lights and streets and time moved slow.
It can't happen as often as I'd like. Yeah I know.
But it can still happen.
I knew what you wanted to say from the moment we met the very first day.
I just wanted you to be the first one to say.
I appreciated that you did. And I'm gonna keep our yesterday
like a movie in my head. Nah, it'll never leave my view.
Please just keep holding on to me,
you're amazing.
And I'll keep holding onto you.
This world gets tough and I know we've both seen it from inside our heads to outside on the streets.
But it's not something too tough that we can't get through together. There's not a thing that we can't beat.
And I know now that this world is bigger than these walls that have kept me here.
I know now that my words can come out through my voice. They don't have to be held back in fear.
One day, you know, I'll get away. And maybe it might be with you.
But even if it's not, I know that's okay. Because right now we're together, getting through
this mess of a life that they've built for us now. And I think we're doing okay.
So hold my hand, I'll grip yours back so tight
and we'll dive head on into another day.
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