We wish sometimes in thought, randomly.

It was like a letter...
I wrote it, in black and white...but why?
WHY?
I keep asking myself and you'd think that myself
would answer myself.
But no. And not. And never.
I wasn't meant for this
or for them.
But for higher purposes
and ellusive dreams.
I said once nothings as it seems.
Was I right?
Can you answer my questions instead?
Because obviously the answers aren't in my own head.
I'm tired, okay?
Although I will still listen.
And I will still hold up your world. Let it glisten.
But mines turning black again.
Read in September.
You'll see where I was.
If you think, you'll remember.
And though I'm not really there yet
I know where I'm heading.
And I dread it more than anything.
Please, don't let it get in.
Not again. Not ever.
I'm still here holding on.
Too afraid to ask or fall
because I have your heart.
So I won't. I'll keep standing.
But I'm tired and exhausted.
I need you
for one day
to come back and hold my heart
like you used to.
Please,
before you disappeared.