Sometimes, I Am.

I want to scream.
I am a sinner.
Everyone bone in my body leaning against me.
Aching.
Crying.
We spend endless nights
and endless chances
to murder.
Hearts
Hands
Head on a shoulder.
A head thats not mine, as mine
unreached, stands.
We don't see.
We don't listen.
We don't breathe
because
it's harder than drowning.
Loving is learning.
We learn to love.
And lose our knowledge of all that is good.
I'm a sinner.
Broken.
Failed.
Trying.
Liar.
Theif.
Murderer.
But working.
Because who I am
is somewhere between
angel and demon.
Where the Jesus who loves me
can just pick me up.
Where is he now?
And they say, "Right besides you.
I believe but dont see.
Blind
Reaching
Holding
Learning
I am becoming a lover.
Found
Smiling
Dreaming
Shining
And held.