Anymore I really suck at writing poetry. The words come and they seem so stupid and cliched that I can't even take them fully seriously myself, even though they are. So I'll write this direct. And I'm writing it to you. Because I owe you an apology. I've never done anything tremendous in your favor, but you've saved and redirected my life. I'm not sure if you know that. But I'd be in a very different place if I hadn't met you. You're the best friend I've had in all my life. I know I say that all the time, but its because I don't know how else to tell you. I just want you to know it always. Lately, I haven't been a great friend back. I know that. When you mentioned we needed to talk, it all occurred to me at that moment why you were upset. Why I didn't see it before that moment, I'm not sure. Can you forgive me? I've been distant and inattentive and stupid. Just plain stupid. I got so caught up in my own life that I forgot it included some of the most important people that have ever been in it. And then I let a really stupid boy take over any time I had left, and any attention I had to spare. He wasn't even worth it. Not for a moment. Yeah, I should have taken your advice. You were right. You told me so. I didn't listen. I'm stubborn and strong headed, and that's something I always will need to work on. I need to listen to other people. Because a lot of the time, you know me better than I do. If I could go back and start the situation over, I would. But I can't. So I need to move on, and learn to listen.
Lately, I have missed you. It may not seem like it, but I have. You have no idea how many nights I felt alone through all the mess I was in, and just wanted to run over to you and have you hug me really tight and tell me it was all going to be okay. I want things to be like that again. I want it more than anything. I miss my bro. Hell, I'm getting all teary eyed writing this. I know you deserve a better best friend. I have no idea why you chose me. But I'm glad you did. Who else would put up with my crazy head?
I've asked you to forgive me way too many times. I've apologized because you were right and I didn't listen more than I should. And I don't deserve your forgiveness or your attention most of the time. But I'm asking for it again. I should have been there for you more this past month. I should have called you up and found time to be around you. I should have listened and cared and acted like a best friend should. And I'm very sorry. I don't want to lose you bro. That would break me. It would break me into pieces, and I couldn't recover from that. You're amazing. You know that? Losing you would be like having the sun die. The whole world would die with it. I know it'd break you too.
You're still the only one I tell all my secrets to. You're still the one who knows me better than anybody else. And I want to keep it that way. Yeah, she's my friend now. But our friendship is so casual and I don't see it becoming more than that. I can't talk to her like I talk to you. I can't stay up late nights and admit my mistakes to her. Never will be able to.
So please, forgive me? I miss you terribly. I want my bro back close like we were. It scares me that you're upset like that. But I can promise that if you don't want to lose me, you won't. Because I don't want to lose you. You know that. I can't lose you. I love you. You're the best friend I've ever had. And anything I've done to risk that, I'm sorry for. But I really miss you.
Let's go back to where we were before.
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