My Prayer for Beginnings

God, running into the downtown lights won't

make me new.

I know that now.

Why did it take me so long

to realize You've been tapping me on my shoulder?

The pastors and books and people

have all been telling me for years

that we can only become new in You, God.

Why haven't I listened?

I want to be new. I want to be whole, not broken.

I want not to forget all the terrible things that

I have experienced or done,

but be able to remember them as past.

Embrace the lessons, and move forward.

I want to be free of the chains that

are holding me down from my memory.

I want to forget the monsters that reach

out of my mind

and hold my by the throat.

God I want to be new.

PLEASE.

I WANT TO BE NEW.

I want to shout it from the rooftops.

I want you to shine Your light in me

until it blinds out every bad thing I've ever known.

God, Your love covers all.

Please wash away everything that's been done.

Let me start over in You.

Let me love again, live again, laugh again,

and have it be true and whole,

and be free.