My Closet- Monster

It's sadly amusing to me
the way this comes and goes and now
is staying.
I know it shouldn't, like a monster
in the closet,
I should be afraid as if I'm five.
I am five inside.
But well, you know, five year olds
don't deal with this.
Do they?
...I hope not. But probably.
Problems and strife are getting
younger and younger
every passing day.
And I look around and wonder
what I am missing.
My head, constantly filled with this
closet-monster,
obsessing and thinking,
and planning over it.
I don't want it to go away.
Is that bad? Yes.
And I know it.
I know this monster by a name
I don't want to call it
because I can't admit.
And while its their, frightening me
in my closet,
I can't help but wonder....Did I put it there?
Yeah, yeah I did.
And now Im just so used to it.
So okay with it
and so numb to it that
I don't want it to go away.
He tells me thats not okay
and I know it but....
What can you do
when your worst enemies
become friends?