PS- You're Beautiful

There is an incredible difference between love and lust, and as I sat staring at my computer screen I realized that even greater than I had before. The glow of the colorful monitor illuminated the shadows on my face that had been set there by the long days and nights of worry, and question, and wonder.

I'm sorry. I typed him, my blood running cold, and my chest tight. I am so very sorry. I sat there with a worried look on my face. Would he be angry? Disappointed? The latter being the worst, and I feared it. Had he been standing next to me, I could not have looked him in the eye or my own would have spilled over with tears.

Kayla... He typed. I waited nervously for his answer.

I love you. I'm not mad. I'm not upset. I'm not disappointed. I love you, and I always will forever and ever. You are beautiful. I will never stop loving you.

My heart beat nearly stopped and I stared, my eyes brimming with tears. I couldn't imagine how he could forgive me for hiding such a thing from him. I felt guilty, terrible, upset. But he somehow saw through it. He still loved me. He wanted to love me. Not because he had to. But because in his heart that is what he felt.

Thank you. So so much. My mind was at loss for anything else to say.

You're welcome. He answered. I let a small smile come to my lips. My near panic state was decreasing slowly and I could feel my heartbeat coming back to life little by little. He loved me. And he always would. We talked until the clock said it was a new day, and then I went to sleep with his love ringing in my ears and heart.

The next day I got up greeting the morning with a welcome for once. Today was okay. Today I wasn't hiding anything from him. I rushed through the day in a frenzied excitement to get home and talk to him like always. I turned on my computer and settled in, still missing him and wanting him to be right beside me, but happy none the less. We talked for a little bit, until he had to go.

Sorry love I must get ready to leave now. *hugs* I love you. I smiled at his words.

Mkay. I'll be here when you get back. I love you too. I assumed he'd log off after this, so I didnt touch anything. But right as I was about to close it another message popped up.

PS- You're beautiful. Bye.

I felt a grin spread across my face. The past days may have been hard, but he was still there. He was being strong for me and he wanted to help. But most of all he just wanted me to understand that I was beautiful and loved. And at that moment I understood that incredible difference between love and lust. Lust was most of the teenage couples around me, only loving for the physical emotions. But love, love was how he felt for me unconditionally. Love was the bond between us that we'd formed long before we gained the status of a couple. Love was him, and the way he cared so much. I understand now, and I will remember for a long time. Love is him. And he loves me.