Who's more reckless now?

You're always going to think I'm sick.

Each decision I make, haphazardly thrown together somehow.

You think I'm still reckless, impulsive.

I'm a loaded gun ready to fire.

The hospitals are ready for me at any moment.

You expect me to go back.

And though you say you want more

and you believe I am more

your eyes show a lack of belief

that's a razor to my soul.

Take the pills. 

Practice the skills.

Breathe deep and keep going.

Your encouragement has become poison.

When things are two sided

they aren't worth twice as much.

They're worth nothing.

I am still in here, burning brightly.

My mind is ticking away 

just like it used to and always has.

You've made a trust into a treasure map

and blindfolded me

telling me to go earn the reward.

What more can I do to show?

I used to be a robot

and the doctors gave me new light

and new power.

But you keep unplugging me.
How am I ever supposed to see the light
when I'm being kept inside
to stay "safe".