Lies Bipolar Tells Me

I can feel an episode come on like a slow wave on the horizon
and I am the sand.
I know its gonna wash over me, and eventually
it will recede with the tide.
But for now? I'm terrified.
These are the lies my brain is telling me:
You are annoying. Stop talking so much.
Nobody wants to hear about your problems.
People have other things to do than talk to you.
You are ultimately alone.
Everyone isn't gonna be there for you all the time.
Suck it up. Stop it. You can if you try.
You're the bad guy. You hurt people.
You're ugly and stupid.
There's nothing exceptional about you.
You're broken.
You're going to be alone forever.
You've lost your way with words.
You're exhausting to be around.
Stop trying. Stop talking. Stop.
Just.
Stop.
I want it to stop flickering through my mind.
I don't want to believe any of those things.
Sometimes though, I do.
Sometimes, like now, I do.
It's all too easy
to feel alone in the world.